“I have gained my confidence back and have become more sure of myself than I have ever been. I am more confident in myself and my ability to make decisions for myself.”

“As I sit here trying to figure out what to write about myself and where I am on this journey, I can’t help but think about what my life looked like a year ago and how drastically different it is today. I had lost majority of everything. Condo, cars, furniture, sobriety: all gone within a few months. I was managing to maintain, but even that proved to be a struggle. It was a relief whenever my dad showed up at my hotel door at 5am back in September. A relief that it was over, that I didn’t have to continue on like I had been, and also a relief because my dad was just there. I know that I am one of the few that are lucky enough to have a family that loves and cares enough to do whatever is necessary for me to be okay. Even though he did show up unannounced, I was willing to take the step to come to treatment. At that time, I had no idea about House of Cherith. I hadn’t talked to anyone about it. I didn’t even know the place existed. What I did know was that I was tired of doing what I had been doing. I was going nowhere fast with the choices I was continuing to make. So it was an easy decision to come to treatment. I came into this program a little over six months ago. To be honest, I didn’t put any expectations on what I thought it would be like. At that time, all I knew was that I was willing to come. I knew that my life had become severely unmanageable and I was at the point where I couldn’t help myself or pull myself out of the mess that I had created. I felt stuck. I wasn’t living, just merely surviving. I was ready to get into a solution instead of staying in the problem. I had no idea what that really meant.

The past six months have been a huge learning experience for me. Massive if I really want to be descriptive. My whole state of being has been shifted. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically all have been tapped into and rewritten. I know now more than ever that health and wellness is a process and cannot be measured by a timetable or expectation date. I have accepted the fact that recovery for me will be a lifelong journey. These past couple of months have really revealed so much to me about myself, what I value, and what I want. Counseling has been a game-changer. It has helped me to see things from a perspective I’ve never been able to identify with before. It has opened my eyes to a radical acceptance of myself and the ones around me.  It has taught me how to implement healthy boundaries, how to center myself, and has shown me that I can trust myself to make decisions. Recovery is so much more than not using and being clean. We can take that away and sure that is better than not using, but the reasoning behind it is still there. In therapy I am uncovering why I used. What I didn’t want to feel. What or who I was trying to escape. I have uncovered that there were multiple reasons why I used. But something inside of me has changed, has shifted since coming here. Therapy has been the most beneficial aspect of the program for me. It has allowed me to find myself again. I have gained my confidence back and have become more sure of myself than I have ever been. I am more confident in myself and my ability to make decisions for myself.

  My goal is the be financially, mentally, and emotionally stable enough to support myself independently. I am working hard to make that goal become a reality. I am doing my best to trust the process and doing my due diligence to make that transition as easy as possible.“

-H